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There are two definitions for the word; will according to Oxford dictionary: will 1 and will 2. In this essay I'll be expressing will...

Tuesday, April 4, 2017


In my youthful years I was a very people person one vigorously seeking boundless knowledge yet foremost a deeper understanding of human nature. At a function I was in the company of family,
friends and friends of friends. Among them was a quiet gentleman some would label him odd or eccentric. My spirit lured me into a conversation with him. The worldly and spiritual knowledge he began to share with me was phenomenal. Question, after questions I asked that delighted him in awe, answering with answers that wowed me. After sometime he exhaustedly said speaking in parables he knew i'd comprehend, " listen Y is a crooked letter that goes on and on and on yet we still wonder why." I still continued my quest for answers in life, but life's taught me later years that somethings just are which is what he was in essence saying. You see I understood what he was saying but I didn't believe it. This was over 40 years go, and unknowingly then a major stepping stone in my life's journey.

In one of my blogs I wrote about bringing meaningful television programs back into urban homes something that was wholesome and family oriented that I could watch with my entire family especially my grandchildren. I have two grand daughters who are 5 and 12. I was thinking of a program that focused on dealing with real life family values, failures, triumphs, stigmatizes etc. Oprah Winfrey and team has gracefully done exactly that with Greenleaf. I can't thank her enough.

You see Greenleaf is the mirror image of myself,  my immediate family and my extended family. Free from shame or guilt I can whole heartedly openly admit this. This is the story that I need to share with my grand daughters. Learning them the good, the bad and the ugly of our family history. Also to show them how it plagues, effects and affects other families so that they may be better prepared for life such as it is. Through Greenleaf I can share it in a more relative way. I don't want them to experience this nightmare or become victims as my children did no matter how over protective we as parents think we can be. Although my aka granbies are over 400 miles away and I haven't seen them in 2 years. I'm looking forward to sharing the Greenleaf experience and my experience of our family skeletons with them before I close these eyes. I don't want them to be judgmental something that wasn't instilled in me yet life made me over time. I'm 18 with 43 years of life experience having to regroup. As I continue to grow in wisdom life has taught me contrary to younger beliefs that the only right or wrong that holds any weight in life on earth is that it is wrong to sit in moral judgement of others.  Mom taught me that early in life, she said " don't look down or turn your nose up at people less fortunate than you, that same person may have to give you a drink of water or something to save your life one day."  Of course then those words didn't carry as much weight as they do for me today.

The world is full of sick folk scared by our predeceased and ancestors, and although we may all have different values no one's perfect and no one is exempt.  Perfect, incidentally a word that eludes my vocabulary these days.

I will be blogging Greenleaf and how certain situations has and still is affecting my life. It is well with my soul.

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1 comment:

  1. I have a soft spot for human nature and mankind. Still today I have that basic instinct of needing to know why ( y ). That is why some of us are pure at heart then why can't we all be. I know that it is in all of us. My husband lectures me often about rationalizing he calls it. His stance is there are not always answers for everything. Spoken like a true earthbound spirit. My inner spirit speaks contrary to me and will not allow me to feel that because I'm a true believer in my lord and savior Christ Jesus. You see spiritually I know there's only one answer for all of these atrocities. THE WRATH OF GOD. It's just daunting at times walking in the spirit while watching and witnessing the Almighty's wrath on mankind. Would it be proper for me to say "I can only imagine how Christ felt."